It’s healthy to roughhouse with your daughter

On one hot day, my daughter wanted to take the hose from me to water the brown lawn we were growing. I wasn’t keen on her wasting water and said that the flowers needed the water more than the grass, but I indulged her for a few minutes. She accidentally squirted me with the hose and what followed was a full on water fight. Another time, I was shoveling show and without seeing her off to the side of me, I tossed an entire shovelful of snow in her face! I brushed her off and without missing a beat, she whipped a snowball right back at me. Even the neighbors got involved!

Debunk the myth that dads shouldn’t roughhouse with girls because they are fragile. That is absolutely nonsense. Roughhousing increases physical fitness, increasing intelligence (they have to figure out how to take you down!) and increases bonding opportunities between father and daughter. Which girl wouldn’t benefit from this type of fun with her dad?

There’s no significant difference between boys and girls once the play is started. They both enjoy and benefit from it equally. Roughhousing builds more than physical fitness, it builds confidence.

Of particular importance to your daughter, she will see the fun side of you. You’re not just a grunting authoritarian. She sees the side of you when you can get silly. Since she trusts you, roughhousing is the best way for her to explore different things in a safe environment. Do you remember how you try to coax your daughter to jump into the water and you’ll catch her? Your arms are literally the safety net for her new adventures. And her trust in you was built from that.

Contrary to some belief, roughhousing actually decreases the incidents of aggressive in children. A University of Regensburg study found roughhousing with dads help kids learn to express their energies and emotions through play. It’s like a pressure valve, and children learn self-control and to balance between rough and gentle without anyone getting hurt. And when silliness is spontaneous, there are no winners and losers. If you roughhouse with more than one child at a time, you’ll have to take charge ‘behind the scene’ so that the rate of play doesn’t spiral too quickly and too competitively to bruise bodies and egos. But there’s no significant difference between boys and girls once the play is started. They both enjoy and benefit from it equally.

With so many children living in divorced families, it is more and more important to engage children in positive development.  Our goal as fathers raising daughters is to teach them how to be strong and confident women. Maybe not surprisingly, playing rough with daughters at a young age, teaches them to be assertive yet gentle, tactical yet cooperative. Above all, roughhousing builds more than physical fitness, it builds confidence.