Let your daughter express boredom; it’s an indication and an opportunity
A while ago, I wrote an article about allowing and even encouraging your daughter to spend alone time. It was an opportunity for 6 year-old kids to explore independence and an opportunity for them to be comfortable by themselves, free of play dates and other planned activities. I now want to expand on this concept a little bit and discuss further because your daughter is a little older and will often experience boredom. How do you respond to it? Simple. Let it happen.
Being bored is just another way of saying there’s a lack of stimulation. Even a kid who watches all the TV in the world will still be bored. “There’s nothing on TV to watch,” is a perfect example of the lack of consistent, quality entertainment to stimulate the child’s mind. Rather than to berate them for complaining about screen time, perhaps this is the time to expose them to something that lasts more than 30 minutes and doesn’t necessarily end with a happy conclusion.
Boredom is not a bad thing. What you need to do at this age, is to help them discover activities that will become hobbies which they could ultimately pursue themselves: cooking, gardening, arts, music, sports and even Legos! All of these child friendly activities promote imagination, patience, creativity, fitness and of course, ingenuity!
Sure, you can keep them busy with a puzzle, but that will challenge them once and will end immediately after the puzzle is done. My daughter and I spent the better part of two rainy weekends, both together and by herself, putting together a 1000 piece Lego set — something that can be replayed. But that has limited longevity as well. You can find all sorts of ‘rainy day activities’ from multiple sources, but even this isn’t the long term answer. What you need to do at this age, is to help them discover activities that will become hobbies which they could ultimately pursue themselves: cooking, gardening, arts, music, sports and even Legos! All of these child friendly activities promote imagination, patience, creativity, fitness and of course, ingenuity!
Another dimension is your attitude toward your own child who is now seven years old. For you, the passage of a year changed little. For them, their development in comprehension, perception and independence has increased on a quantum scale. Are your boundaries for them still the same? Do you still treat your daughter as though she were a toddler? It’s entirely possible that they are not stimulated because the fences you put up to protect them are now a little confining. Redraw the boundaries and give them some latitude.
Boredom can be a useful (and essential) barometer for kids. It is only when a child can turn off the volume of external stimulation that they can truly hear their own internal thoughts. How do we expect our children to be motivated and care about anything when they are not given to opportunity to know who they are? It may be difficult for many of us control-freak parents who want to project plan our child’s activity, so it is essential that we let go and let them be. As adults, many of us need a quiet place to go inwards before we express outwards our personality. You child needs this practice also. Boredom is not a bad thing.