I was ordering coffee in a crowded shop at the train station one morning. There was a long line waiting behind me and equally long lines waiting for coffees to be made. It was a nice boutique coffee shop and all the servers were dressed in professional aprons. While I didn’t order specialty versions with dairy alternatives and other embellishments, I expected my regular coffee with cream to be an easy pour. I put down dollar bills and was told cash wasn’t accepted. I turned on my phone and as I prepared to tap the purchase, the screen presented options for 18%, 20% and 25% gratuity. I searched for the small ‘no tip button’ and pressed it.
Remarkably, the server uttered disapprovingly! I asked him to repeat what he said to me. He quietly spoke but it can be heard by others behind me, ‘no tip, uh?’ I wasn’t sure whether the comment was genuine or whether it was to embarrass me but feeling incensed, I spoke up. “You shouldn’t expect a 25% tip for pouring me a coffee. It would literally take 10 seconds for you to fulfill this order.” And taking a page out of the book of an executive I once worked with, I said, “I don’t reward people for doing their jobs. And pouring a coffee is not exceptional contribution.” The server had the audacity, albeit slightly muted, to say that his employer doesn’t pay very much for this hourly wage. To which I responded even more convincingly that, “Then this is a discussion you should then have with your employer, not a customer.”
The line was very quiet and no customer spoke up to support the server. No one spoke up for me either. But I wasn’t looking for support as that was the way I felt. I am also certain that most would feel that the tipping culture has gotten out-of-control.
You want a tip? I’m going to give you one: if I having to get out of my chair to look for you in the kitchen, it means you are not being a waiter.” I left him a $0 tip.
At another established where I sat for a full meal, the server was polite and swift in the beginning. However, after appetizers were served, I had to follow up with other servers to request for my own waiter to tend to my table. After multiple requests, I finally got up from my table, went to the kitchen and asked other employees to direct my server to return with the bill! Shortly, he presented the bill and handed the POS to me standing there unmoved. The screen prompted 18%, 20% and 25%. I paused, looked at my fair-weather server and said, “You want a tip? I’m going to give you one: if you are dressed as a server you need to act like one. Me having to get out of my chair to look for you in the kitchen means you are not being a waiter.” I completed my transaction, got up and walked out leaving him with a $0 tip.
Post pandemic, tipping has become an expectation for things that shouldn’t even be tippable. I’m also done with the exaggerated and often unchallenged expectations to be remunerated for daily efforts. I missed the countries I lived and traveled where tipping wasn’t required much less shamed for not doing it.
While I sympathize as I understand that the cost of living has skyrocketed in recent years, but as much as they feel the sting, my disposable income has shrunk, as well.
