Never intended this to happen but looking back in the last couple of years, I have stopped writing about the sometimes comical but always entertaining antics of my ex-wife when the court awarded me custody. I can’t say I was surprised by what the judge did as it was what my lawyer and I had petitioned for. But what was reassuring was that the court saw fit to also grant a monthly stipend in addition to support payments to allay the costs of raising a child.
Even before this happened, I either waited patiently for consent or didn’t seek it all together for things like school trips, minor travel or medical appointments. My daughter and I did what we needed when it was necessary. I saw past my ex’s unnecessary friction. But nonetheless, the friction was something I anticipated even for little things. For me, it was a barometer of how much my ex has changed—or not.
With my ex occupying diminishing space and time in my life, I can dedicate my focus elsewhere. Maybe work on that 6-pack ab I’ve fantasized about.
Back in the court room, the judge said to me that notwithstanding these court orders, I should not expect that my problems will be over. In fact, it’s more than likely that new problems may arise. Those have been prophetic comments from a family law judge. I still have problems with collections. I am also judged for the way I free-range parent my child. And I am consistently gaslit. But whatever. If I cared what others think about me, I’d never action anything.
Since the court order, I still inform my ex about decisions I make—it is her daughter after all. What I do never really change; things are just done quicker now. It is also easier as my daughter is getting older and she can decide many things for herself. Our decisions are now more immediate without pointless delays.
But the true barometer of my mood is the topics of the articles I write in these blogs, week after week. They have evolved from a single-dad juggling fatherhood to just being a father to an increasingly independent daughter. With my ex occupying diminishing space and time in my life, I can dedicate my focus elsewhere. Maybe work on that 6-pack ab I’ve fantasized about.
I think I’ve made progress!
