Expose your daughter to social problems
My daughter used to go to a private school. Everything was surrounded by all things pretty and uplifting. Then around Grade One, she got bored of fairies and nature walks and wanted something more substantive. Her mom and I were still settling our differences including post-marital finances and a switch to public school was easier on the pocketbook. It was also more convenient for pick up and drop offs. To make the switch to a new school more gradual, we moved her to a particular alternative school. It was a small school, but the curriculum adheres to the standard and the teachers had great latitude to adapt their methods to individual children. Unlike the old school which backs onto a ravine making daily nature walks convenient, the new school is in the middle of the city, with sights, smells and sounds of hubbub – including a homeless shelter within 100 yards of the school.
After school one day, we walked by the shelter and she noticed a drunken man sitting at the steps hunched over. There were other people about smoking cigarettes and using foul language. She tugged my hand and asked if the man was dead. No; he’s intoxicated. Does he have a home to go to? Probably not. Why doesn’t he go inside? Because the shelter is closed right now. It only opens in the evening to serve a dinner and offer a bed for the night. He can’t live there? No, it’s temporary. Daddy, you should help him. I do, part of my paycheck goes to the government and they fund these places to help those in need. The conversation went on. And we’ve had multiple conversations about those who are less fortunate and especially those who are homeless.
I fundamentally believe that shielding her from the darker side of society distances her from her community and ultimately, she becomes disconnected from those who are less fortunate than her. This separation creates social classes and the rift between ‘us versus them’ becomes greater with each successive generation.
Readers of my blog will know that I don’t dress up these stories for my daughter. She gets the good, the bad and the (age appropriate) ugly of every conversation. I fundamentally believe that shielding her from the darker side of society distances her from her community and ultimately, she becomes disconnected from those who are less fortunate than her. This separation creates social classes and the rift between ‘us versus them’ becomes greater with each successive generation.
When I have these conversations with my daughter, I always do so from a position of safety. She’s not hungry, hurt or preoccupied so she can fully engage the discussion. I also tell her that people don’t consciously decide to live that way. They may have gotten sick; dropped out of school; lost their job; didn’t have enough money; don’t have family who can assist; or maybe even gotten in trouble with the law. It becomes very difficult for someone to deal with any or all of these issues at once. It could happen to anybody falling on hard times. Anybody.
As children, they always turn back on themselves and she wondered whether we could be homeless. I looked at her and smiled. Daddy will do everything he can to make certain that that does not happen. The next time we walked by the shelter, she asked if that man she once saw hunched over on the steps had gotten better. I don’t know, but he probably got a meal and a warm bed that night. And that’s one step closer toward getting better. She smiled and said that it was good to have these shelters to help people who need help. We both smiled. I think you’re right.