Custody and COVID

Surprisingly, very little has been written about child custody rotations during the pandemic. Because COVID-19 is such an infectious disease that can become fatal, children in two household situations fall squarely in the crosshairs of public health guidelines for staying within household bubbles. But besides the mantra of self-quarantine, testing and isolation, the authorities have understandably been busy with public health matters rather than family law matters. And the few progressive jurisdiction that did publish parental guidance, have offered little beyond telling parents to stick to family schedules and routines and obey existing court orders that are in place.

I was unfortunate enough to contract COVID when it first hit North America. Needless to say, my daughter also got sick. But within two days, she was already on the mend and by the end of the week, her mother insisted on picking her up for custody rotation. We didn’t know much about the COVID back then and there was no vaccine. I told my ex that her return to custody rotation was against what the nurse had ordered; custody time can be made up after quarantine. My ex didn’t care. And since she knew as much as I did and still insisted upon the rotation, then the risk was on her. It turned out my daughter wasn’t a viable vector for viral retransmission.

While we don’t have a zero-tolerance approach to COVID in the West, a woman on a blind date in China was stranded at her new friend’s home when the authorities locked-down her district! In another bizarre twist, a recent court ruling order a father to temporarily lose his right to see his 12 year-old child!

 

Perhaps the best way to think about custody isn’t from our own perspective of parental access to the child, but the child’s access to the parents.

 

At issue is the father’s unvaccinated status. A Quebec judge suspended a father’s visitation rights for a period of time unless he decides to get vaccinated. The mother lives with her partner and two other children who are too young to be vaccinated. The judge said “it would normally be in the best interest of the child to have contact with the father but not so if he is not vaccinated and is opposed to measures in the current epidemiological context.” This judgement is the first in Canada depriving a parent of access rights on immunization grounds, a family law expert told Le Devoir newspaper. But this is also not the first-time cases like these have surfaced in other jurisdiction.

There is a myriad of reasons why people choose to be vaccinated or not. I’m not here to judge why people make the decisions they do but we must keep in mind the reality that millions of children all over the world have lost more than parental access due to COVID—they have lost a parent who succumbed to the respiratory disease.

The judge in this instance ruled justly that the child’s best interest is the core issue. We, as parents, believe in the same best interest ambitions but go about it in wonderfully different ways. Perhaps the best way to think about custody isn’t from our own perspective of parental access to the child, but the child’s inherit entitlement to be embraced by the best of her parents giving everyone peace of mind.