She may not confide in you her crush. And that’s okay

Boys are generally idiots when you ask girls at my daughter’s age how they feel. She certainly has had her fill of idiotic boys at her school. But on the whole, when together in a small co-ed group, they hang out, joke, eat lunch and even compete in gym and swim classes. She may not be the fastest runner or perform the most pull-ups, but in swimming, my daughter is untouchable—owing to years of training. She tells me how the boys pathetically flail their way across the pool trying to race her. She is smug when it comes to showing up the boys. But a little muted when it comes to boys who try not to impress her.

As much as my daughter is generally disgusted with the behavior and bodily sounds of boys, there was one she had a ‘crush on’. I’m not sure if it was the same boy who was beguiled by her so I asked. She refused to tell me. Why? “Because.” Because you think I’ll rough him up? “Yes!” Well, I won’t bump into him on purpose but I’ll keep an eye out for him, as I fingered the V-sign pointing to my eyes first and then hers. “That’s why I won’t tell you daddy,” she laughs. Does mommy know? “Yes,” she confirmed. Wait, you told mommy but not me? Hmmmmm.

 

A crush really has no convertibility to love and is more a temporary obsession of excitement and newness. I guess it is good practice for her—but especially for me. She is a blink away from being a tween. I am frightened!

 

I’m not worried about infatuations like these as I think it’s cute—until I determine it isn’t anymore. At my daughter’s ripe old age of 10, she is armed with sufficient birds and the bees knowledge from clinical to social. And when she sees kissing on TV, she covers my eyes. But there’s nothing I’ve seen that leads me to be concerned.

A crush really has no convertibility to love and is more a temporary obsession of excitement and newness. Teenagers poring over heartthrob magazines will experience page upon page of euphoric admiration for their idol. A student having a crush on a high school teacher is short-lived and shared only amongst close girlfriends for gossips and giggles. For children of my daughter’s age, childhood crushes are not new. And when it ends, it evaporates like the morning dew. Most times, the object of the crush is not even aware of it.

So the fact that my daughter decided not to tell me and me not making a big issue out of it is simply another childhood stage. It’s just another mile marker for her physiological and psychology development. I guess it is good practice for her—but especially for me. She is, after all, a blink away from being a tween. I am frightened for my world and for what is to come!