Media’s influence on young girls
Ever since my daughter’s movie viewing preference has expanded beyond animated motion pictures to full motion pictures, a Pandora’s Box of images have flood her mind with ideas of modern culture and consumerism. Just the other day, she came home wearing a pair of black, heavy rimmed glasses that didn’t have any lens on them! “You know you’re missing the glass in those glasses,” I told her. Yes, it’s supposed to be like this, daddy. I also made you a pair, too! She handed me a pair of repurposed 3D movie glasses. We can be fashionable together!
No doubt the pervasiveness of media messages and its continued refinement on influencing our thoughts and pocketbooks are undeniable. Even if your child’s school discourages technology in the classroom and disallows branded clothing to be worn (as in the case of my daughter’s school), your child will still be bombarded with thousands of images in advertising on her walks to school, street side billboards and even pop-up ads on YouTube. She’ll be exposed to ever more edgy definitions of modernism, feminism, consumerism and all sorts of I-don’t-know-ism before she has any real purchasing power.
To the degree that you allow the media to influence your parenting, your greatest challenge isn’t to keep the tsunami of impressions from breaking down her door (this is a losing battle, even if you decide to fight back with your pocketbook); your greatest challenge is to help your daughter decide which and how these impressions will impact her and teach her about the illusion of beauty being peddled.
Your greatest challenge isn’t to keep the tsunami of impressions from breaking down her door; your greatest challenge is to help your daughter decide which and how these impressions will impact her. Afterall, these are somebody else’s definitions. Her real inspiration should be the reflection in the mirror.
The media is very good at defining and defending gender stereotypes. Even in the twenty-first century, the nascent age of awakening where long held labels and discrimination are giving way to openness and acceptance, the very image of women continues to be under re-evaluation. Women are still expected to dress a certain way; walk a certain way; look a certain way and if she must speak, to do so in a certain way. These are somebody else’s definitions. Do you want your daughter to remake herself in the image of Marilyn Monroe? Gong Li? Perhaps Lupita Nyong’o or the super-competent Gal Gadot who plays Wonder Woman? Would you be satisfied if your son models his identity after the Marboro Man? James Bond or even Robert Downey Jr’s Iron Man? It’s not a fair question. Each character has elements that are admirable, but other elements can superimpose artificially on your young child in a context that could drive altered-ego behavior which would truly not be childlike.
What is fashionable and what is popular becomes a very slippery slope to what are expectations and norms. Some examples are good and some are simply inappropriate. Some actions build character, some will prevent character from being built. Your child is at an impressionable age where she’ll take things at face value and accept what she sees as real. Gradually, much of your parenting is becoming less focused on what you expose her to and more of what is exposed to her. Our real job as parents is to let her know that real inspiration should be the reflection in the mirror.