Winning doesn’t mean coming first
During one of my daughter’s recent swim practices, the coach decided to do something fun after the requisite lane warm-up. They were split into 4 teams so they can compete in relay. My daughter, being one of the strongest swimmers, found herself in a group of other eager swimmers and they handedly won the first 2 races. The second and third placed teams swapped positions leaving the slowest team losing both races. By the end of the third race, the team she was on placed first again and the team that consistently came in last remained there. The coach decided to shake things up and moved my daughter, an anchor swimmer to the slowest team, while moving the slowest swimmer to the first team. Needless to say, there was uproar followed by cantankerous chatter. At the end of the fourth and final race, the last place team didn’t come in last.
Later in the car, she said that she wished she remained on the same team to win all 4 races! I confirmed to her, “You do swim with a winning team. Winning doesn’t always mean coming first. In fact, helping other teammates so they don’t come in last is actually a sweeter victory.” I also feel that boosting the confidence of her teammates can only help everybody, including herself.
A true winner does not claim victory at the moment of her opponent’s weakness; this pilfered moment is not winning. Winning is when you come out on top only when your opponent is performing at their best!
My daughter had not thought of it that way, and after some reflection, she agreed. The euphoria everyone felt at the end of the races was that no one was left behind. It was a far more jubilant atmosphere than having one group claiming all the victories at the expense of another in a zero-sum scenario. This is evidenced by the fact that the post-race exuberance was louder than the moans that becried the original shakeup.
In fact, sacrificing self-advantage to give another teammate a hand-up is old news. In the movie Cars, Lightning McQueen deliberately gave up first position and forfeited the Piston Cup only to go back to push a spun-out car, The King, across the finish line so that he can finish his very last race with dignity.
It happens in real life, too. Ivan Fernandez Anaya was about the finish a cross country race when he noticed Abel Mutai, the lead Kenyan athlete, began to slow down toward the finish line. Mutai neither read nor spoke Spanish and was confused by the signs and thought he had already won. Anaya saw what was happening and could have easily shot past his opponent to win the race himself. Instead, he slowed his own pace and pointed Mutai towards the real finish line so he could rightfully win. In the end, they both became winners.
Winning a race takes talent. But winning the hearts of others is more fulfilling. Winning the respect of your opponent is immeasurably meaningful. A true winner does not claim victory at the moment of her opponent’s weakness; this pilfered moment is not winning. Winning is when you come out on top only when your opponent is performing at their best!
