Pay it forward
Back in 2000, a Hollywood movie of the same name was made about a social studies teacher who gave an assignment to his junior high school class on thinking of an idea to change the world for the better and then put it into action. The effect had a trickle forward benefit for many of those who were touched by the initial deed. This concept is not unique and is timeless throughout the ages. It demonstrates human compassion and a good philosophy for all of us to practice.
When my mother went into the hospital for several weeks due to a fall, the family gathered around providing the usual care including visitations, homemade foods and other comforts. My daughter drew her grandmother a picture with pastel colors and it hung on the wall so she can see it lying from her bed. My mom, being an eternal green thumb, was concerned about her vegetable garden and wanted me and my siblings to tend to it. None of us had the kind of time to do this garden justice. And so, the garden became a bit overgrown with weeds and suffered from drought. It was at this time, I asked if my daughter would be willing to be the garden keeper and help her grandma. She was delighted. Once a week, we would go to grandma’s garden and pick melons, tomatoes, peas and other herbs. Once a week, we would weed and water from the rain barrel. And once a week, we would bring the bounty to the hospital for everyone to share. It made everyone happy, most of all, my mother. My daughter also got to enjoy some pesticide-free vegetables.
Picking grandma’s vegetable garden yielded a bounty. The immediacy and the benefits of her actions were undeniable and it charged her to become even more fervent in her efforts. Interestingly, some of the most important things are also the simplest. Being what reciprocity is, my daughter discovered that the more she gave, the more she received!
This very act allowed my daughter to express cooperation and compassion for her grandma. It was something she can fully do and fulfill on her own with little assistance from me. I believe learning these simple, but extremely important characteristics from the family allows her to grow up to be an empathetic and compassionate adult I hope she would become. The effect of paying it forward allows her to see firsthand the benefits her own actions as it ripples from her sense of self. The immediacy and the benefits of her actions were undeniable and it charged her to become even more fervent in her efforts.
Beyond leading children by example, there are few and inconsistent opportunities for parents to illustrate compassion, which can be one of the toughest things to teach. But yet, some of the most important things are also the simplest. For example,
- Keeping things simple. Picking peas was just as impactful for my daughter as a rich person making a multi-million dollar donation to research.
- Good will is contagious. Not only did my daughter pick all the peas, she enlisted me and her aunts and uncles once a week to pick the vegetables which have grown beyond her height. We all pitched in.
- Do it without any expectation of payback. Although my daughter did enjoy the bounty of fresh vegetables, that was not her reason for doing it. It was a selfless act for her grandma. Being what reciprocity is, my daughter discovered that the more she gave, the more she received!
It’s a concept that is worth a sequel.