Actually, we talked about sex, drugs and rock n’ roll in the reverse order. My daughter and I were on vacation and we were just listening to some really good old fashion rock and roll music at the restaurant and she asked me who sang the various songs being played and what they do now. Elvis. Dead. Buddy Holly. Dead. Jim Morrison. Dead. Janis Joplin. Dead. John Lennon. Dead. Prince? Also, dead. Do they ever live long lives? Some do. Ray Charles. Tom Petty. Little Richard. Why so few live long lives?

I don’t know but each rock and roll legend has their own story. I would imagine being such a pioneer and the need to come up with good material, performance, recording contracts, money and the novelty of a fan base takes its toll. Some people need to escape to quiet the noise. Some resort to alcohol, some use uppers and downers, other more potent pharmaceuticals. Tobacco, marijuana and hallucinates were probably thrown in the mix as regular vices. Their family ties and social lives were probably non-existent, so they connected with roadies and groupies. What are they and what do they do? Roadies are stagehands, groupies are fans that follow the band from city to city and it’s not what they do, but who they do. Ewwww, dad.

So rock and rollers are always into drugs and sex? No, anyone in any industry can get into the dark side of human experiences if there are enough stresses they don’t know how to handle. It’s really escapism. It’s more evident to us when it happens to a celebrity because it’s public. You never hear about a librarian smoking marijuana in the bathroom, but if a movie star emerges from a limo in a swirl of white smoke, there’ll certainly be a cloud of interest!

 

I looked over at my daughter and asked her to read the lyrics the next time she listens to these songs—any song. It tells a story. Often a personal one. One of love lost. One of struggle. But always real.

 

My daughter also told me about the vapers in her school. She asked if they were under stress. I’m not sure what kind of stresses they are experiencing. Could be exams, family or anything. But the stresses to these kids are real enough for them and they may not have the coping mechanisms. Also, vaping could be a peer pressure thing which makes the vaper cooler and more grown up. I told my daughter that when I was in high school, smoking was a thing and that’s where I picked it up. It was partly due to my peers who mostly smoked and partly because all the advertising made smokers feel like adults which we desperately wanted to become. My daughter asked if I ever got into other drugs. I said I tried marijuana when it was still illegal, but I never took to it. I didn’t need an escape; far from it, I wanted to be in the real. For me, cigarettes were never a gateway drug and I quit before I turned 30 anyway.

I did not-so-clandestinely steer our conversation to the third topic of sex and told my daughter that some kids in her school would use not only vaping and alcohol to demonstrate maturity, but also sex. You’ve learned enough from school and our talks about sex. But I want to emphasis the consequence of irresponsible relations which could end in pregnancy and disease. Disease? Yes, while condoms may be effective in preventing the sperm from entering the uterus, sometimes, unprotected sex and even kissing can pass along viruses. In fact, cold sores are a type of herpes transmitted via kissing or touch of an open sore. The HPV vaccination you got in school is to protect yourself from communicable disease that could lead to cancer. Unbelievably, there are parents who refused this citing that such preventions could lead to promiscuity.

It was a heavy conversation to an otherwise light lunch. But after three beers, her two 7-Up’s, ending with a giant shared dessert, we sat listening to more music as I waited for the bill. I looked over at my daughter and asked her to read the lyrics the next time she listens to these songs—any song. It tells a story. Often a personal one. One of love lost. One of struggle. But always real. Live vicariously sometimes, but never stop dancing.