Don’t sugarcoat it: that medicine does taste badly and that needle will hurt

My mother used to give me cod liver oil. Back then, it didn’t come in the pill form. You got to taste the awfulness from the actual oil as it coated the entire tongue and that taste lasted forever! No amount of bribery would have made it any better. It was the same bribery for getting vaccinations, too. As far back as I remember, it seemed like I was getting poke and jabbed with needles used on horses. Obviously my childhood recollection is based on distorted memories, but decades later, I still remember the lies that it won’t hurt.

The last time my daughter got sick, she got to choose between cherry or banana flavored medicine. Kids have no idea how good they have it these days. But there are times when the medicine (especially my mom’s herbal concoctions) does taste like tree bark. And I tell it like it is. She winches and complaints, but she drinks all of grandma’s get-better soup. The same truth comes out when we go to the doctor to get MMR, HepA, Typhoid or other required and non-required vaccinations. I tell her to look away from the needle if she wants, but the pain will be sharp. The jab, however, won’t last longer than 3 seconds; the benefits will last for 10 years. Seems clinical, but it works.

I think over protecting a kid really has the opposite effect here. We don’t like to see our children suffer and do our best to spare them pain, but let them experience manageable pain so they know how to handle it themselves

My daughter appreciates the fact that I didn’t sugar coat reality for her. The needle did hurt – I wasn’t lying. But it also didn’t last more than 3 seconds – I was telling the truth. Not only was she far better prepared than if I had said ‘it won’t hurt a bit’, she also feels pretty grown up believing that she is mature enough to go through it without tears and that reality wasn’t that different from her expectations.  Let’s face it, I’m an adult and I hate needles because they do hurt. Why would I say otherwise to a 6 year-old? I think over protecting a kid really has the opposite effect here. We don’t like to see our children suffer and do our best to spare them pain. Protect them from true threats and hazards, but let them experience manageable pain so they know how to handle it themselves. You can’t be there for them forever.

Also, she learns that sometimes, long term benefits can only be gotten after moments of brief hardship. This is actually a pretty good life lesson in itself. In this case, 3 seconds of vaccination gave her 10 years of protection. Pretty good ROI!

She survived and feels better about herself. When we left the doctor’s office, she actually said that the needles weren’t that bad. She’s stronger than you think.