Nurture your daughter’s charity
My daughter and I found ourselves waiting for the light to change at the end of a highway off-ramp. Right next to the road was a patch of grass where a woman paced back and forth with a cardboard sign that read, “Out of work. Please help feed my family.” The woman went from car to car looking for donations. While there may be unscrupulous panhandlers during the holidays, there are also some genuine ordinary folk who’s just down on their luck. My daughter suggested we help her. And then we started to talk about how people sometimes fall on hard times, lose their jobs, can’t afford rent and may eventually wind up homeless.
It was then I told her that I had volunteered at a homeless shelter before. It was a corporate activity with my employer in giving back to the community. “Really daddy? You’ve been to a homeless shelter?” I said I volunteered there. I didn’t stay overnight! My daughter discovered a whole new side of me! She was surprised that I never told her. Actually, I never even thought about it since I have so little time to give back to the community in this way now. But I found it surprising that she thought my volunteering is new since I spend time at her school and even sat on its Parent Council. Then I told her that she does the same thing, only she doesn’t realize she’s giving back.
The path from having to have-not and back is a journey we all experience—it’s just a matter of severity and recoverability.
At school, my daughter is part of the eco club (expanding a green program) and the design team (working with the neighborhood businesses and city architects to redesign portions of a new construction site and its impact on school grounds). But she said, “That’s just a part of school.” Yes, but not everyone in her class was given the opportunity to join these groups. You do it to bring benefit to others. And you get no remuneration or extra credits from school. She actually didn’t realize that she was volunteering through her own extracurricular activities!
Needless to say, volunteering brings tremendous benefits to those receiving it, but for those offering their time and energy, the benefits are often unsung. Setting aside the social ties that are being built with the people in the neighborhood, volunteering can ground the individual. It also offers life experiences, too. Over time, this pattern of behavior establishes good character that many schools and employers are quite keen.
No doubt your daughter is already a very giving person. Nurture this behavior. While she lives in a bubble of comfort you and her mom have provided, she will undoubtedly experience ups and downs in her future. The path from having to have-not and back is a journey we all experience—it’s just a matter of severity and recoverability. Her helping others when they need it lets her know that others are there to help her if she ever needs help. Above all, helping to better the lives of others teaches her that charity is a mindset and a way of thinking—not just a selfie moment at a soup kitchen once a year.