The birds and the bees (Part 5): Parthenogenesis
Partheno-what?” my daughter asked me. No sooner had we finished discussing previous topics of the birds and the bees and how grossed out she was about sperm and eggs, penetration and vaginal births, then we heard a story on the radio about an anaconda giving surprised birth of babies whilst living amongst other females in the New England Aquarium in Boston. I sighed and said, yes, sometimes, babies can be born without a daddy. “So I was right!” she exclaimed, “Mommy could have had me without you, daddy.” I sighed again.
Life is funny. Once you learn a rule applying to everything, you quickly learn that it doesn’t. My daughter learned that while babies are born from fertilization of mommy’s egg by daddy’s sperm, reproduction can also happen through a process called asexual reproduction where this union doesn’t take place! She also learned that this type of procreation happens with some invertebrates, some reptiles and a few flowering plants. Parthenogenesis is nature’s cloning process that bucks the rule. Seems that nature will find a way!
Rather than getting confused about the topic, she actually said to me, “Well, that makes sense.” How? I inquired. “We learned in garden club, that earthworms have both male and female parts and are called hermaphrodites.” Clearly she is now schooling me on the birds and the bees! Her explanation is slightly different from mine, but I understand she’s trying to illustrate exceptions to the rule. What spawned out of this discussion was the diverse and ambiguous topic of reproductive behavior of life on earth! She also sees that human families aren’t always composed of a mom and dad with a girl and a kid brother, too. In fact, we talked about families we know comprising two moms, two dads, one mom/no dad, one dad/no mom and even a friend she knows with no dad/no mom being raised by grandparents. How family dynamics have changed since I was in grade school! Back then; having divorced parents was the hushed discussion! Our society has gone from whispers of male/female sexuality to an open discussion on pansexuality.
Life is funny. Once you learn a rule applying to everything, you quickly learn that it doesn’t. Seems that nature will find a way!
With this diversity, do you still feel you want to have the birds and bees discussion at one sitting? Impossible! And even if you did, you’ll be missing many parts to the story of life which is what makes the whole discussion so expansive. The approach of a one-and-done conversation with your child is still not recommended. We’ve had no fewer than five major conversation and we haven’t even discussed puberty! So far, my daughter has learned the proper names of sexual organs, penetration, gametes combining to form a fertilized zygote, gestation and Caesarean births. Now she knows that all or none of it can apply to life. I can’t wait to see what Part 6 of this dialog would entail! Soon enough, I’ll have to discuss VD, consent and maybe even deviate forms of sexuality, including criminal ones, too. She’s also getting to an age where physical changes are manifesting and engaging in discussions with her female cousins and girlfriends at school about changes are going to be inevitable yet helpful. I asked if she knew what a period was and she was sheepish and whispered, “How do you know about these girl things, daddy?” I smiled and said every gadget has a manual so why shouldn’t a body come with an operating guide? A friend of mine recommended a book to me which I bought and gave to my daughter. It’s called The Girl’s Body Book by Kelli Dunham, R.N. I can’t participate in every conversation she has so I help her with the basics and give her the resources. I told her to flip through the pictures and read what interests her and if she has any questions, she can ask me or her mom. She took the book, ran up to her room and closed the door. It’s cute. I know she didn’t hide from me out of shame, but out of wanting privacy. I respect that.
Later that day, she asked me, “Daddy let’s talk about the bunnies you were going to buy me instead of the dog which you won’t let me have. Can I get a boy bunny and a girl bunny so they can have babies?” Have you not been listening at all to our conversation? At best you can have two girl bunnies. “Hmm, I wonder if that would work?” she murmured to herself. Keep calm and carry on. I have no idea where this conversation is going to end up.