The longest night (Part 3)

Last year, I wrote about my struggles with getting my 6 year-old to stay in her own bed through the night, The longest night Part 2. I think some of you parents are probably wondering why I am still grabbling with this issue. Well, for a child of divorce, she’s been bouncing between homes since she was 4 years-old. Providing a bit of warm snuggle at night can’t be a bad thing. And to tell you the truth, I’ve come to enjoy it also. Now at the age of 7, and as we begin another school year, I’d like her to stay sleeping in her own bed. She starts there, but gets out of her own bed in the middle of the night and comes over to mine. I still can’t shake it. The situation isn’t helped because she co-sleeps with mommy at the other house.  So here are a couple of dirty tricks I used to get my daughter to sleep through the night at my place.

Am I the only single dad to struggle with sleep training a 7 year-old? Sigh. Stay tuned for Part 4.

Sleepovers.  It’s a special treat because it doesn’t happen often. No one is allowed to sleepover on a school night and I don’t think any parent would disagree with this. So occasionally, one night here and there is all she gets and maybe more frequently during the summer holidays. I think the reason sleepovers are so successful at getting her to sleep through the night is camaraderie. With a friend coming over at the house, they simply don’t go to sleep at 8pm. Not even 9pm. I still hear whispers and giggles at 10!  My daughter’s first sleepover had her sleeping at midnight! While the play dates do sleep through the night, it doesn’t solve my problem for the other nights when there are no sleepovers.

Exhaustion. Another trick I use is to tire her out. There have been times where we came home late and I have to carry her out of the car and into her bed around 11 or later. But collapsing from exhaustion isn’t an ideal sleep training approach either. I can’t get an unconscious 7 year-old to brush her teeth. While both of these examples do work, they are not sustainable. What I need is a sure way for her to stay in her bed until morning.

Then I have many friends who say to me why the rush? They will eventually not want to snuggle with you in bed. So just enjoy it. While I don’t disagree, I just feel a little odd that my 7 year-old still wants to cozy up with me for the night. I do enjoy the bonding, I just wonder if there’s a way to enjoy the closeness while building her independence. Or is that an oxymoron? I don’t know.

Anyway, in addition to sleepovers and day trips, I’ve also tried setting the alarm on a special clock which signals when she can come to my bed. That’s worked once. Am I the only single dad to struggle with sleep training a 7 year-old? Sigh. Stay tuned for Part 4.