Give gifts of experiences
The other day, I pulled out a present that I had put away from one of my daughter’s previous birthday parties. The toy was a little advance for her when it was given and I thought it would be appropriate to introduce it now. I asked if she remembered that party and the little friends who came over to celebrate. Not really. Unless the present had a special meaning or was given by a particular person, the parties and presents kind of all blended together. While I remember spending a bit of time and money picking a date, organizing the venue, coordinating with other parents, ordering food and everything, for my daughter, it was already a faded memory acknowledge by little more than a shrug. And while these events add to her general happiness, I have to wonder whether I did it for her or really for me. Seems I remember more about her parties than she does!
A few weekends ago, my daughter and I opened up that box of Lego (600+ pieces) we had picked up from a recent toy store trip. We spent 8 separate sessions over a weekend building something together. I took pictures at every stage of construction and posted it on Facebook for family and friends. We had a great time building it and she continues to play with it, rebuilding parts as it comes undone. This got me to think that perhaps giving experiences are far better than just giving stuff.
My daughter gets lots of stuff from family and friends at birthdays and holidays. I am not going to compete by giving her more stuff. Giving experiences frees you from the increasing expectation of finding that ‘perfect’ gift. A trip to the space museum, cooking classes or activities that require continuing levels of advancement are gifts that won’t be forgotten.
My daughter gets lots of stuff from family and friends at birthdays and holidays. I am not going to compete by giving her more stuff. There is one advantage I have over other family members: she lives with me 50% of the time and I have more opportunities to do more stuff, not to give more stuff.
Annual passes at museums and galleries are a great way to start discovering her interests and spend time together. So are bowling and pottery making and cooking classes for children. Give her a magazine subscription or DIY toys where some assembly is mandatory! Take her to a concert. Go strawberry picking. Heck, teach her to juggle! When she gets older, engage her in activities that will require continuing levels of advancement which could progress into something much more than a one-time activity: learn a musical instrument, scuba diving certification (maybe a bit young for now), martial arts, etc. These gifts which could become life skills won’t be forgotten anytime soon.
Giving experiences frees you from the oppressive store crowds and the increasing expectation of finding that ‘perfect’ gift. Giving experiences allows her to tailor her own gift and ignite her imagination. Giving experiences could cost nothing and yet become priceless moments that can last forever –not just a fleeting memory from a bygone birthday party. For my daughter, one of her most prized gifts she’d ever received from me was a Moleskine Journal and a set of colored pencils: its blank pages are filled with her imagination – some of which she shares with me from time to time.