One summer, I signed my daughter up for sailing camp for two weeks. Even though she had a friend there, she didn’t enjoy it. On the first morning, all the campers had a safety and skills briefing. Then they were assigned a personal dinghy. Although there were camp counsellors around, she felt adrift as they cast off. Even though my daughter is an avid swimmer, she felt very uncomfortable, isolated and even forsaken. Months later, she told me that she was actually terrified. She prayed for strong wind so that all dinghies would be recalled.

I partly signed her up to expose her to different things. It was the summer and there are worse places to be than on a boat under the warm sun. I had no expectation for her to love sailing or even want to crew at the local yacht club. So long she understood how to pull the jib and know why they call it a boom if she doesn’t switch sides quickly, I was happy.

But the real reason why I signed my daughter up was to push her outside of her comfort zone. The fact that she had a friend in the same camp was just a bonus.

Let’s face it, parents encourage their kids to explore, but the tether is often too short for kids to really begin to explore their own limits. And my daughter was at an age where she had enough water skills and could take part with a licensed sailing operator. She won’t sink, but she may have to swim!

It’s not about learning a skill—it’s about learning about oneself.

Being in a brand-new environment with new people and new equipment wasn’t something she was used to. She had to dig down deep to pull up her confidence and demonstrate her ability in real time. She couldn’t rely on rote memory and there’s no asking Google. Though there were no sharks in the water, but as far as she was concerned, her survival was at stake. No playdate can ever do that!

Although she didn’t like the spotlight thrust on her, sometimes she has to step into it and step up. Limelight isn’t a place to live in; neither should it be a space to avoid. It’s not about learning a skill—it’s about learning about oneself.

Where discomfort, queasiness and butterflies live, one may find liberation and endless possibilities. My first job out of university, I was hired to build and sell computer networks. My employer was very good at investing in its employees and I was sent for media training. My whole class spent a week learning and preparing for public speaking and on the final sales pitch, we were actually filmed! The coach picked apart our posture, pacing, hand gestures and of course, all the um’s and ah’s that filled parts of our speech where silence should be. It was painful to watch.

I’ve always believed that without struggle, there is no growth. And the earlier my daughter is exposed to these opportunities, the more she would know herself and discover what she can achieve and accomplish outside her zone of comfort.