Compared to her peers, my daughter’s interest in reading was a non-starter. She has friends who devoured books by the shelves and were never seen without one in their hands. For my daughter, she was more into things that didn’t involve a book. I was initially worried—less so than my ex, though. But I was calmed by two facts. First, I don’t doubt that she’ll read at a college or university level, so it really is immaterial whether she was reading one grade behind her peers at this age. But any more behind than that, should be treated as alarm bells. The other was the fact that she does read—not necessarily full chapter books, but recipes, instructional manuals and even graphic novels. I also count reading information panels at airports, train stations, brochures and maps as essential reading. In fact, critical reading to distill vast information is just as important!
To encourage her to take up the printed word, I tricked her into watching the heroine themed movie, The Hunger Games (2012). We then watched the second movie. And then the final two-part ending of the trilogy. In fact, she wound up rewatching it. She enjoyed it so much, I bought the book series and left it in her room. She discovered it and torn into the beginning of the first book to see if the movie was consistent with the text. She discovered the dialog to be more immersive. The book was more vivid in its language and description and it drove her imagination. The story was much more robust in the way a motion picture simply cannot. She wound up reading all three books and started to look for other coming of age, female survival themed books. Her genre was very specific. I did not question nor did I suggest she broaden her interest with a bait and switch approach. I simply told her that if she like those books, we should go to the bookstore to look for more under this category.
And the number one reason why she’s probably not reading? It’s likely that you don’t read yourself.
Once upon a time, I used to read a book a week. At times, I would have 3 or 4 books in parallel and I read whichever spoke to my mood at the time. There were other times, I wouldn’t read for days (years when my daughter was younger), but I do enjoy the mental voyage the book took me on whenever I did read and I’m glad my daughter is discovering her path. But she must find her way rather than me pushing her into literature. I’ve seen what happened when I force it. Pushing my daughter to practice her cello or yelling at her because she’s not being competitive enough (day she wants to quit) would have the same supportive effect for her reading. This isn’t to say I don’t support her academically—I vigorously do! But the direction and pace have much latitude and she must drive this journey herself. Sometimes, it will be slow, other times, not so. She will surprise you.
I sometimes read to my daughter prior to bed. She enjoys it not because she needs me to read the printed words to her (as she can easily read bedtime stories herself), but the closeness we share. It doesn’t happen as often not because we’ve grown apart, but because she’s so busy with other things that by bedtime, she falls asleep in minutes.
There are other ways to encourage your tardy reader. Make sure she has a library card and let her browse the shelves, not you. Don’t judge what she checks out. If she’s in a library (or a books store) and she’s got a few books under her arm, that’s huge already! And whatever you do, don’t make reading a punishment. One hundred percent of the time, she will hate anything that is equated to being punitive. So, if you send her to her room to read or do homework, she will equate it to being told to do it and will loathe doing it on her own.
And the number one reason why she’s probably not reading? It’s likely that you don’t read yourself. Besides the fact that it’s good modelling, it gives you some time for yourself and indirectly tells your daughter to do the same. It doesn’t mean she has to do it at the same time as you, but it’s likely that she’ll take the opportunity to do something for and by herself! If she has frequent and plentiful access to books of her choosing, all she needs is the time to be with them.
