The value of alone time

I would never advocate you intentionally or even accidentally leave your child home alone even if the movie of the same namesake did offer comedic interpretations of then 8 year-old Kevin being left home alone and how he had to get creative and improvise for the situations he found himself. While necessity is the mother of all inventions, this old adage makes for poor parenting advice, however germane these words are.

Shortly after we implemented a task list, my daughter got a tremendous sense of accomplishment. As an extremely important side effect to checking off her to do’s, she discovered that she had more time. Since I was sufficiently happy that she did everything on our task list to the best of her abilities, whatever time was left really belonged to her. She earned it and was further charged that I trusted her to do whatever she wanted (within reason, of course). It is important to note that this free time is not about play dates or other planned activities. This free time is for her to be spent by and for herself. The value of alone time has many benefits.

It is important to note that this free time is not about play dates or other planned activities. This free time is for her to be spent by and for herself. The value of alone time has many benefits…to relax, to daydream, to get creative and most importantly, to learn to be comfortable with herself

Time to relax. Kids’ schedules are so regimented these days that unstructured free time is essential to add balance to their hurried lives. At the age of 6, I know my daughter is not out and about with her friends; her free time is generally spent in the house with me. And like anything with practice, the more often she has alone time, the more she’ll learn to use the time effectively. Her make-believe play lasts for a long time and in multiple episodes.  If we have to step out for a while, she will resume where she left off.

Time to daydream. Daydreaming allows kids to go inside of their minds and to think about possibilities. At this age, their imaginations are not grounded by practical limitations and other restrictions. You’d be surprised what they can come up with when they have a bit of quiet alone time to dream up the impossible.

Time to be creative and pursue hobbies. I gave my daughter one of my old phones and she makes videos of her play. She actually used it to record doll house videos, rather than consume YouTube content. I’ve found videos on her phone that run 15 to 20 minutes of filmed narrations. This alone time has allowed her to discover interests that she never knew she had.

Time to be comfortable with herself. We are social creatures, and as parents, we surround ourselves and our children with company and activities (sometimes, too much of it). I think most of us, myself included, are a little afraid of our child spending time alone. We immediately go to a dark place and think our child is a loner or have no friends. Shake this belief. Let them discover themselves.

Seems letting my daughter do nothing actually accomplishes a lot.