Tweens and their relationship to foods
Mom’s best teaching to me and my siblings is cooking. It’s interesting however that out of all of mom’s seven children, only two took up the mantle—my next oldest brother and I. I’ve been cooking for myself since leaving left home for school decades ago. I know my way around grocery stores; asking the butcher for specific cuts; and even tapping a melon. But being a foodie is very different from pragmatically preparing nutritious, appetizing and timely meals for my daughter. Getting them to eat it is sometimes a whole different kettle of fish altogether. So like recipes, I’d like to share some tricks I learned.
Meal times need to be flexible. My brother is more formulaic when it comes to cooking. He focuses on ingredients, labor and time to deliver three square meals. Since he puts in so much of his heart and soul into it, he takes it personally when his family eats partially or defers meal times because of extracurricular activities. In my household, my daughter swims competitively and sometimes at 6am. Other activities will take her through to 8pm. It’s just not practical for her to have meals at regular set times. And the amount she eats will vary depending on the amount of physical activity she’s had or will have. Sometimes, she has her dinner in two parts. And so, she eats around her extracurricular activities (and in transit); not the other way.
Focus on quality, not quantity. It is difficult to eat well when in public. Everywhere you go, there are fast food stores and stalls. And filling up on empty calories can actually be worse than not eating at all. So as much as possible, send kids to school with lunch thermos of warm proteins and carbohydrates. Also, just because foods are natural, doesn’t mean it’s enough. High-carb vegetables like potatoes can fill but not provide the necessary nutrients. Same is said for grains and pastas. Unless a child has strict dietary limitations based on medical reasons, most will not need to be on a particular diet, notwithstanding the parents’ choice. Introducing them to quality foods (doesn’t have to be curated organic versions) in moderation now will produce extremely healthy thinking and lifestyles later in life.
Food brings people together. It’s no accident that people at a party almost always gather around the kitchen. One who runs the kitchen, rule the roost.
Focus on variations, not ingredients. Comparatively, my daughter prefers to eat my cooking than her mom’s. Because my ex struggles with preparation, she opts for frozen foods. And on weekends, she has only a handful of tried and true recipes which aren’t exciting anymore. It’s too bad, since my daughter has actually been turned off from certain foods being served so repeatedly. My struggle is to undo that by exploring different ways to prepare the same old ingredients. My daughter hates eggs (boiled, scrambled or poached), but she likes French omelettes. She hates avocados, but loves guacamole. I can’t explain it; but will accept it. I don’t like olives, but I cook with olive oil!
As my daughter is less than two years from being a teenager, foods and diets will become an even greater preponderance. Teach her the basics of good food. Teach her the basics of preparing and cooking good food. Let her watch and help you prepare meals; tasks like cutting and stirring are easy team work. She’s going to have different tastes and preferences and she will eat moderately and appropriately. Cooking this way, you wouldn’t need to force them to eat; their palate will guide them. The last thing you want is for them to develop aversions which can morph into truly unhealthy and dysfunctional eating habits.
While food excites the sense, and nourishes the body, it’s much more than that. Food is the foundation of many social relationships. After all, it is food that brings people together. It’s no accident that people at a party almost always gather around the kitchen. One who runs the kitchen, rule the roost.
