My daughter’s not a reader
As much as my daughter enjoys my reading to her from a variety of genre and topics during ample opportunities for unrushed cuddle time, she’d rather just stick her face in front of a YouTube channel than curl up with a book on her own. While her level of reading comprehension is slightly below her peers, she’ll read (and write) when she needs to—and she does it sufficiently well enough. I once encouraged her to read subtitles for a foreign film I wanted to watch. That lasted a whole of two minutes! I’ve tried everything from different topics, formats and even a little clip-on book light. My daughter sees through the tricks and gimmicks. I’ll just have to accept that she’s not a reader (or she hasn’t found the right things to read).
I don’t entirely know how much reading she does at her mom’s house but I don’t fight with my daughter over it. The worse thing that can happen is that she’ll do it reluctantly, temporarily and eventually the pressure could push her to stop all together because she’ll feel like she’s doing it for me. She does read when she needs to: cooking instructions, food labels and even instructions for toy assembly. She even devours graphic novels which one of her teachers said ‘really doesn’t count’. But I disagree. While it’s not Hemingway, at least she’s reading age appropriate content and I bought her more graphic novels from the book store. When she reads, and stumbles upon an unknown word or a phrase, she’ll ask me what it means, so I know she’s processing the printed word.
My thoughts on reading and making it enjoyable for my daughter is to take on the perspective that reading and the love of literature has to be anchored in passion; it’s not just a purely academic exercise. We need to understand that while reading is essential, reading in and of itself is not the endgame.
My daughter doesn’t have an aversion to literature or languages. In fact, she’s been enrolled in Mandarin classes for many years, now. She is also very committed to her swimming schedule which is multiple nights per week. Add to her on-going cello and orchestra commitment, her days are pretty full and end late enough. So I cut her some slack for not being a voracious reader. Besides, reading is not the be-all and end-all.
If you find your child to be in a similar situation, take heart. And stop comparing her to her peers. My daughter has girlfriends in her class who goes everywhere with a book. Not only do they do so unprompted, the materials I see them with are rather dense both in terms of the printed word and also the content. I asked my daughter about these friends and her remark is that they often rather sit and read instead of play. My 10-year old is not known to be a bookworm or a wallflower and she seems to be socially balanced having friends ranging from intellectuals to near illiterates! What is there to complain about than to accept her as she is?
My final thought on reading and making it enjoyable for my daughter is to take on the perspective that reading and the love of literature has to be anchored in passion; it’s not just a purely academic exercise. It won’t work when she’s asked (or forced) to be exposed to topics and formats in a contrived manner. While I think that reading Alfred Lord Tennyson would make her seem very highbrow, the words of Ulysses to her are just that: words. It is meaningless until the soliloquy resonates with her own experiences to spark her mind and ignite her soul. We need to understand that while reading is essential, reading in and of itself is not the endgame. For my daughter, reading comes after she’s discovered the interest while for many other kids, it’s the reverse. As much as I can encourage and support her, she is the one who will embark to move earth and heaven…to seek, to find…not only through rows of printed words but through paths she alone can inscribe.
