Stressing about her academics? Look beyond the letter grade
Parent teacher conferences are the best way to receive input regarding your child on her academics, social behavior and other generalities. If these interviews are offered, do everything you can to attend and build that relationship with your daughter’s teacher. It is valuable insight you won’t get anywhere from a person who knows your child the most apart from family. They have a more objective perspective that you simply won’t. Also, don’t look at your daughter’s report card and assume, in the absence of failing grades, that everything is fine. Some elementary schools aren’t even allowed to give letter grades, much less a failing one. A letter grade will speak neither of the enjoyment nor struggles your child may experience. Sometimes the problem kids have with academics has nothing to do with the academics, at all!
Our daughter initially attended a private Waldorf School but for a few reasons, she was switched to the public system that adheres to a standard curriculum. Her reading and writing was simply non-existent prior to joining Grade Two and even though she’s made remarkable strides, she is still slightly behind the grade level when it comes to reading at a Grade 4 level now. Her teacher has offered us helpful books that will give our daughter the practice she needs before she hits the next grade. Her mom and I do our best to make certain that we allocate time at home so she can catch up in reading and arithmetic (even though the teacher didn’t identify this domain to require extra work). For the most part, our daughter is plodding along. Given enough practice, she demonstrates noticeable progress and exhibits no signs of learning disability. But if your child’s tardiness in academics is not-up-to-snuff and her unhurried development can’t easily be traced to something explainable, consider other reasons.
To the amazement of most parents, the grade is not the end product; it’s a point-in-time report on your child’s mental state of mind. Besides, some elementary schools aren’t even allowed to give letter grades, much less a failing one.
Ability & aptitude. Learning disabilities whether mild or acute manifests first with difficulties in attention, memory and comprehension. It’s possible that with some focus and remediation, these learning delays are found not be disabilities at all. It’s just that the child needs a bit more time. Or they have different interest levels. Each kid is built differently and given the same curriculum and pace of teaching, outcomes will also differ. As an analogy, a race car burns too hot idling in bumper-to-bumper traffic and an SUV won’t manage the turns on a race track without slowing down or crashing. Without adapting the teaching modality or offering concessions, frustrations increase which will manifest into social impulses from simple, silent struggles to lashing out in disruption. Perhaps your child is bored to death and simply wasting away. Or maybe your child needs more practicum than theory.
Distractions & coping mechanisms. Kids have stresses, too. They may not worry about money, relationships or anything that keeps you up at night. But their stresses are just as real to them as yours are to you. If there are sleeping irregularities, social withdrawal and under- or over-reactions to day-to day-things, academic performance could be the least of their worries. Remove the distractions, isolate the problem, help them focus and give kids tools to empower themselves. Imagine how distracted you’d be at work if you were faced with an unexpected thousand dollar car repair bill! You’d be surprised how sensitive children are to your worries, too.
Scheduling & downtime. When young kids are enrolled in interest level activities, there is little expectation. But as children enter into higher grades, their participation in extracurricular requires higher demands for their time. Activities like music require practice; swimming requires pool time and team sports have mandatory meets. This will impact academics as it cuts into study times. Homework almost always winds up getting done with half-hearted attempts at leftover efforts. Over scheduling will have unintended consequences and sometimes, they just need to be parked. A rest is as good as a change!
To the amazement of many parents, the grade is not the end product; it’s a point-in-time report on your child’s mental state of mind. Heed it. Look beyond the letter grade. Think of it only as a barometer that measures something far more important: their overall disposition. Like a fuel tank indicator, you’re always going to want it filled to the top. But the reality is that you’re really only concerned about where you need to get to.
