Privacy: nakedness and bathroom time

There was a time when the bathroom was a sanctuary. It was a place of unhurried quietness, free of interruptions and you did your business without any distractions. Then you had a kid. Your child is literally a home wrecker! She’ll barge in when you’re showering or pooping. She’ll scream through the door telling you that she had spilled something. And when it’s too quiet, you rush through your business to find out what type of naughtiness she’s up to. Fear not. Peaceful bathroom time can be had again.

It starts with a closed door. Ever since we had a child, we decided that except for the doors to the outside, locks will not be used. It’s primarily for safety reasons, but a closed door equals a locked door and permission must be sought before entry. At the age of 4 and 5, my daughter needed constant reminders. From the age of six or so, it became second nature; however if she’s excited or in a rush, she still forgets. But she understands the concept of free time and private time and respects it. She’ll go into her room and close the door. If I want entry, I knock first. You can’t have double standards.

I’m glad she has a positive body image, but discretion is the better part of grace. I also want her to learn that privacy begins when she closes the bathroom door and ends when the door is opened again.

Despite your best encouragement, your paths to the bathroom will cross. For example, she uses more toilet paper than I do. And I have to remind her to replace the roll rather than leave an empty cardboard cylinder. When I’m caught in that situation, it is me who yells out to her from inside the bathroom. She then sheepishly hands over a roll. Or she may want something from the bathroom and rushes in catching me in full frontal. My WTF look is met with a ‘sorry, daddy’ and then she runs back out – leaving the door wide opened. Finally, when I draw her a bubble bath, she starts disrobing in her room and parades her nakedness about the place with unbound anticipation. I’m glad she has a positive body image, but discretion is the better part of grace. Besides the fact that I won’t pick up her trail of clothing, I also want her to learn that privacy begins when she closes the bathroom door and ends when the door is opened again.

She’s actually quite forthright about enforcing her privacy when she’s outside the house. At school, girls who want to go to the bathroom do so in pairs. But I also want her to know that as much as boys and girls should be treated the same, girls require more time and vigilance. When she gets older, bathroom privacy becomes not simply a luxury, but a necessity, especially in public places. That’s the time to lock the door. And I think she gets it.