It’s another year and my daughter got a personal invitation from the current Women in Power group to be part of the student leadership during this new school year. Last year, students saw how my daughter’s simple suggestion of organizing a demonstration with placards and chants to draw attention to the war-du-jour took flight. They wanted more radical thinking. New ways to raise awareness or money for a new issue. Other girls were also inspired by last year’s school walkout and wanted to be involved.

Some of these girls desired the attention of the leadership so badly, they started to diss my daughter’s contribution and called her out for missing meetings and non-participation. In a specific example, one girl even told my daughter of an incorrect date and time for the next meeting. My daughter later found out the mistake was deliberate.

I sighed and said to my daughter, “You threatened them.” What did I do? In fact, I didn’t even show up at the meeting “Your reputation precedes you. When you joined this school, last year, you made a very quick and solid impression on the staff and student body with your activism and playing cello at the school Talent Show. Your leadership came through very clearly and in a very short amount of time.” She listened.

“Some of your peers may have other great ideas but feel that, with you in the room, you’ll drown their voices and confidence.” But we all take turns to brainstorm. “It’s not about talking. It’s about your presence and they may feel threatened and that’s why they want to exclude you. They stonewall you. They may even lie about you.” That’s so stupid. It’s so….high school. I laughed. “Get used to it, it happens at the workplace, too.”

It’s not about talking. It’s about your presence and they may feel threatened and that’s why they want to exclude you.

I told my daughter about a quarterly meeting we had at work where a number of suppliers were invited. There was discussion about a particular common issue and I had a relevant story to advance that discussion toward a possible solution. My VP was the chair of this meeting and she knew what I was going to say. And she very quickly put up her hand as a signal to me not to continue. It was abrupt and her excuse was that we must move on in the interest in time. I guess her agenda is far more important than solving a problem. My peers looked at me surprised at the abrupt halt. We all knew that my action would take the limelight away from the hostess. Whatever.

In another example at work, I had a discussion with a peer about a lateral move. He was initially receptive but eventually declined to even discuss my candidacy for a role that opened up. He reasoned that I was ‘typecast’ and not a good fit! Astonished, I knew my past 4 years of work performance was clearly a threat to him if we reported to the same management. Thirty-some years of operational, management and executive experience in both public and private sectors across 5 countries and I’m typecast! Whatever.

I shared my stories with my daughter and she listened intently. She realizes that this type of ‘jealousy’ (her word) continues even in the work world. “I guess some people never leave high school.” Yeah, I didn’t want to join Power this year anyway. “Then you’ve done your bit for King and Country and moved on. Good for you. Others will fill your void. And they can follow in your footsteps, just as you will follow in others’.” I guess, she resigned. “That’s opportunity; not charity,” I assured.