The lesson of abundance (especially when it appears not to be so)
Flight home was uneventful and as all the passengers were single-filing through the economy, business class and sleeper seats to get to the front of the plane, my daughter asked me, “Daddy, can we sit here next time?” Not until you can afford one of these laydown sleepers on your own, I quipped back. Besides, you have plenty of leg room in economy. And you took half of my seat, too! Other passengers heard our banter and snickered in agreement.
The allure of luxury is undeniable. I have sat in very comfortable business class and sleepers seats and dined with real metal cutlery (usually by way of upgrades). But for my daughter of 8 years-old, booking one of these seats would be overindulgence. It is unnecessary in both requirement and expense. I also think that exposing a child to such wanton luxury is a dangerous slope to conspicuous consumption which would surely lead to an entitlement complex. So when it comes to teaching my kid about commerce and consumption, I have three general guiding principles for running our household: we live within our means, we take what we need and we buy the best quality our money can afford to get the greatest value.
Ironically, by taking the approach of frugality and scarcity to living, we actually experience life with generosity and abundance.
To the first point, I spend less than what I make. Sounds like common sense, but it’s surprising to discover in the latest statistics that many people are living off credit. My daughter would occasionally ask me how much money I make, as she continues to grasp the concept of money and value. My only response to her is, “Daddy, makes enough money for us to live comfortably so we can do whatever we want, but not enough money to do nothing at all.” And part of this lesson is that we save a good chuck of money for a rainy day.
To the second point, our young family used to live in Asia when I was posted there for work. By comparison, our living space was much smaller than the Western footprint. Living quarters were not used for entertaining and so kitchens were smaller and so was our fridge. Add to this the vibrancy of Asian wet-markets, there was little requirement to shop in bulk and we learned to buy fresh what we needed for a day or two. While living in a tiny apartment in a massive metropolis, it makes no sense to buy large quantities for freezing or thrown as leftovers. We try to avoid the tragedy of the commons by taking only what need and resist the pull to over-consume. Since my daughter only lives with me half the time, family packs of anything (except for toilet paper) makes no economic sense. Sometimes, we will run out of provisions. But this forces us (and her) to manage usage and supplies better.
However, buying only what we require based on necessity could make life routine, mundane and otherwise monotonous. And when we do buy things, we seek out quality in goods and experience. For instances, my daughter can be rough with her school bag and after a few months of use, the zippers don’t align and the pockets are torn. In the search of a longer lasting schoolbag, we sought out the pink Herschel bag with lemon patterns. I was hesitant at first but the sales associate convinced me that the $70 price tag was due to the product’s durability. To date, the bag has been in near daily use for over 3 years and has already saved me hundreds of dollars in replacement costs! We also splurge on dining too. Not too long ago, we discovered a midtown Manhattan restaurant called Gotham. The atmosphere was quaint, the service superb and the food excellent. Even fellow patrons would strike up a casual conversation with my daughter asking how she liked lunching with her daddy. This $200 lunch turned out to be the best lunch I have ever had with my daughter on a gorgeous summer afternoon. Experiences like these are totally worth it. What makes them special is that they are infrequent!
Living within our means, using only what we need and recognizing good value are timeless lessons. Ironically, by taking the approach of frugality and scarcity to living, we actually experience life with generosity and abundance. I hope that she will neither struggle nor know hunger. I hope my approach will keep her grounded so when she grows up, she can have the things she wants when she wants them, but recognize that true abundance comes when we make decisions with necessity in mind.