No, you don’t. You hate some of the kids at school because they are still bitches and nothing exciting has ever happened in their miserable lives. They are likely coddled by pushover parents and these bitches complain about everything because they never had to work for anything. They will continue to live their menial insect existence.”

Wow, dad, that’s…unexpected. I laughed and it actually felt good to vent about the blasé attitude of Generation ZZZ. I have spent a lot of time and money making sure that my daughter is in the right institutions that nurtured her curiosity. My time is not wasted. My dollar is not ill-spent. And my daughter is being challenged.

Yeah, you’re right dad. My school is pretty good. Most of the teachers are great, some are lame. Most of my friends are okay and I have a tight circle I hang with. It’s okay. “‘It’s okay?’ High praise!” I shot back. “Look, the truth is, you’re not at school to make friends.” I’m not? “Believe it or not, you’re not. You’re in high school; you’re passing through. Ten years from now, you will strain to remember the names of most of these kids and if you’re very lucky, you’ll have one, maybe two friends that you may keep in touch with. Everyone else will fall away as you move forward. You’re only just meeting the most influential and impactful people to you, much less, your best friend.”

And in this whole conversation, we didn’t once talk about your school, so it’s not school you hate.

I told my daughter that I used to spend 8 or 9 hours at the office, five times a week. I know these people very well. But they are not my friends and I don’t bring them home. In fact, my coworkers are simply that; they work with me and when I am not working, they cease to be a part of my existence—my work doesn’t define me. There are exceptions of course, but generally, I do my best to separate the two worlds. Hence work/life balance.

I suggested to my daughter that she should be compartmentalizing the people in her life, too. She has classmates she sits with and has lunch with. She has swim buddies on her competitive team who are probably more aligned to her personality and drive than the kids who are in the same classrooms by happenstance. She has cello friends for music appreciation. She has language cohorts who are worldly and international. People are aligned to our personal commonalities. The fact of the matter is there are very few people in our lives that occupy every sphere we are in.

“Leave those bitches behind and don’t bring them into other areas of your life. They weren’t worth your time in that particular social circle, so why allow them to foul other circles?”

I never thought of it that way. “They are your friends or associates or acquaintances only if you choose. Chances are, the more you keep your distance, the more likely they may want to get closer. If these people don’t want to put in the effort, it is better to know now, than later. You’re not being aloof, you’re prioritizing yourself first.”

But they call me a bitch for being standoffish. “Takes one to know one. If that’s the beginning of a friendship, it’s no friendship. And in this whole conversation, we didn’t once talk about your school, so it’s not school you hate. Don’t get hung up with people who may or may not go the distance with you.”