Dog or no dog?

Ever since she got her first fish, my daughter has been fascinated by pets. She got more fish and eventually, a hamster. Now some of her friends have four-legged pets, and she asked if she can have one, too. The answer would be a lot easier if my daughter lived in a one-household family. When I asked who would look after the dog when she’s with mom, her reply was, “You will, daddy.” Wrong answer!

This was not the end of the multiple requests to come later. And it is tough for me to convince her otherwise since I grew up with a dog myself. But I also grew up with brothers and sisters who could share in the duties and nobody worked the crazy hours we do now so there was always somebody home to let the dog out.  Aside from the upfront and on-going costs of license, vaccinations, supplies and pet food, the continuing time commitments is what really deters me, as a single-dad, from owning a full-time animal. I wish there was such a thing as dog-sharing with another family. But since taking the dog to her mom’s during her time is out of the question, it really boils down to how we (more me than my daughter) can care for the pet on an ongoing basis.

One of my friends at work tells me that if I want my daughter to stay with me, then getting a dog would secure that. This friend is childless; clearly I hope he remains this way.

Having previously cared for an 80-lb dog until his old age, it was like caring for a child that never grew out of the diaper stage. And depending on the breed, this is a decade long commitment. Thinking like a man, if I work backwards from my daughter’s projected departure from home for college at the age of 18, then now is the time to get a dog. Sigh.

One of my friends at work tells me that if I want my daughter to come over often and stay with me, then getting a dog would be one sure way of securing that. This friend is childless; clearly, I hope he remains this way. Shared custody is for the benefit of my daughter, and if she wants to spend more time with me, I don’t need a dog for that. No further ahead with this friend’s rather slanted advice. Sigh.

So the deal I made with my daughter is that we would revisit the topic later. She pressed me for a date, and I uttered 12 years old. The reason why I said this was because in the jurisdiction we live, a child of this age can made some significant decisions independent of their parents, including allocation of time spent with either parent. While this sounds like a cop-out since I’ve only deferred the decision instead of engaging the issue. You’re right. I’m buying time. I know for sure that at the current moment, I simply do not have the cycles to look after a pet. Maybe later. But my daughter knows that the decision wasn’t strictly a yes/no, mine/hers decision. I want her to know that there are serious responsibilities to having a full time dog. I am also certain that we will revisit this question again (well before she’s 12). Sigh.

“What about a cat?” she asked, clearly exploring all angles. Well, I’m not a cat person, although they are generally more hands-off than a dog. I guess I could become a cat person. But we do not have to make this decision today. Phew!