She doesn’t want to wear what you tell her
When she was an infant, her wardrobe was very simple. A baby onesie of any color will do. With no social pressures, my only concern is whether she will wear her clothes (bought or hand-me-down) more than a few times before she outgrows it. I still have shoes my daughter’s outgrown even before she’s worn them. As I pass them down to family or friends, I don’t worry about its wear and tear condition as many pairs of shoes have not even touched the ground!
Fast forward a few years and her wardrobe is unsurprisingly more complicated. She has underwear and outerwear. She has shorts and long pants and even in-between three-quarter’s pants (didn’t know that was a thing!); sweaters and rain coats; jackets and snow pants. Her wardrobe, once designed around functionality, now is increasingly focused on aesthetics. What was once adorable and practical increasingly gives way to an 8 going on 12 year-old fashionista. My suggestions to her on what to wear hang on the rack like old sweaters; no longer does she rely on me to tell her what to wear. However for the time being, I still have veto power. But anything I do buy, we both could agree that comfort and natural fabrics are the best choices. For now, function and practicality still prevails over form and color.
On a few occasions, I had to hurry her up because she was already trying out multiple pants or shirts and couldn’t decide. On fewer occasions, I rolled my eyes and urged her to look outside and dress appropriately for the weather. It happens with enough frequency that I had to come up with a few guidelines so both of us can leave the house in a reasonable amount of time.
Clothes that were once adorable and practical increasingly gives way to the choices of an 8 year-old fashionista going on 12. My suggestions hang on the rack like old sweaters…but for the time being, I still have veto power.
Dress appropriately. She’s going to school. Some schools have stricter guidelines about coverage and skirt lengths. My daughter goes to a public school, so the rules are more relaxed. Nevertheless, she needs to wear a support top under the t-shirt or tank-top. If there is gym class, she’ll need to bring athletic shorts and shoes (and a change of socks). If the temperature is cool in the morning, she needs to wear long pants but can bring shorts to change into when it gets hot in the afternoon. And all of that layering will need to be covered up with a wind breaker, raincoat or snow suit simply because survival trumps fashion. Sensible decision and so far, she’s okay with them. Let’s see what happens when she’s thirteen years-old.
Shop together. Occasionally, we’ll stumble into a department store and she’ll want that thing she just saw in the window. If it’s not too over-the-top and the price is reasonable, I’ll buy it for her. But being a guy who categorizes everything, my purchases of clothing for her fall into 3 buckets: essential (e.g. underwear), situational (e.g. outer wear) and sensational (e.g. a cute little fall shawl she saw in a window once). Pick up the essentials while shopping for groceries is easy and requires little debate. For other items, we often sit together in front of a browser and click through items worth buying. This way, she has a say into what she wants to wear and she can also inform me about what might be in vogue.
Putting peer pressure at bay. At my daughter’s age, there are few requests for must-haves because all the girls at school have it. My daughter knows that I’m more a practical shopper and generally don’t understand things like infinity scarfs or pumps, so she’ll hit her mom up for these things. Because her clothes go back and forth between two households, I sometimes see what was bought on the other side and get informed indirectly what is fashionable. But for the most part, she has what she needs and sometimes she gets what she wants without being over-indulged. We don’t need to deal with makeup right now and she’s very good about removing her nail polish on Sunday nights. However, I know she’s dying to wear her new cowboy boots to school when she finally grows into them. I’m long out of practice when it comes to replacing my wardrobe because I have outgrown it, but I do my best to keep up with female fashion. Call me old school, but they grow up way too quickly!