Don’t talk down to service providers; you need them more than they need you
I am fortunate enough to be able to hire a housekeeper (I’ll call Kim) that comes to our house periodically to clean from top to bottom. She does it with such extreme efficiency and finishes within half a day what would have taken me the entire weekend if I had to do it myself. Her helping me frees up the time I have to spend with my daughter or to do other things I can’t ask someone to do for me. And for this, I am grateful to Kim, who has been with me for years now. I time it so that my daughter’s alternating weekend coincides with Kim’s visit. One day, my daughter asked if Kim was family since she sees her every weekend she’s with me. I said no. Daddy’s housekeeper helps daddy and for her time, daddy pays her.
Whether it is wait staff at a restaurants, cooks, department store clerks, mechanics, bank tellers and baristas or anywhere with service staff, they are the ones with the knowledge and expertise. Just remember who is asking for the help!
When my daughter was younger, she was trying to understand to what extend she can tell Kim to do things. I said that she cannot. Only I can ask (not tell) Kim to help with housekeeping. This means in the half day she spends with us, I don’t ask her to cook or shop for groceries or mow the lawn and wash my car. I also added that Kim has the ability to accept or refuse to do something. I went further to say that as a housekeeper, it doesn’t mean Kim is here to pick up after me (and especially her). In fact, I’ve always told my daughter that she must first clean her room before Kim can clean her room. She was confused at first but quickly realized that daddy’s housekeeper does not pick up toys or dirty clothes off the floor. And on a few occasions, daddy has asked Kim to skip cleaning her room because it wasn’t ready to be cleaned yet.
The same courtesy and mindfulness applies for wait staff at restaurants, cooks, department store clerks, mechanics, bank tellers and baristas or any service staff. They are the ones with the knowledge and expertise we are in need of. Just remember who is asking for the help!
My daughter knows that having a housekeeper doesn’t abdicate her own responsibilities. The day before Kim arrives; she picks up toys, books, everything and puts them back in the right place. Dirty dishes need to be put on the counter or the dishwasher. Her hamster still needs to be fed and cared for by her. Pet care is not a part of housekeeping.
So it doesn’t matter whom we encounter in our lives, kindness repays itself. And the way she sees you treat others will be a template which she’ll use. We live in a classless society and so everyone must be treated with courtesy and respect at all times.