As most couples had or will discover, starting a family almost always includes the trials and tribulation of conception and even miscarriages. For something so common, it’s also very private and rarely talked about. For each woman, it’s an new experience. And while there’s never anything wrong with the woman as everything can be explained away physically and mentally, it’s the psychology and especially the emotional undercurrents that often cause the most angst.
There are many female-only health experiences that do not enter the minds of males. We will never understand menstruation, monthly hormonal pills and other gynecological care other than the general acceptance that female anatomy is mostly ‘internal’ vis-à-vis male anatomy. And as such, there are more nooks and crannies to speak of.
And when my daughter experienced discomfort when urinating, I went on my phone to do some cursory research. I admit that my browsing history as a single girl-dad is quite varied. Once upon a time, I even had pictures of tampons sent to my phone by a sympathetic swim mom.
Since my daughter lives with me, she knows that a guy who cannot empathize, should also not judge, either.
What I discovered was the commonplace of UTI or urinary tract infection. Its occurrence, though not as common as a cold, is frequent. A number of things can cause it but the treatment is simple: antibiotics.
Our trip to the doctor was objective and clinical. As I had made the frequent trip with my daughter to her doctor for the times she had an ear infection due to her years of swimming. We treated the visit with a very matter-of-factly approach. And as important as it was to take antibiotics right away to deal with her ears, it’s as important to take antibiotics to deal with her UTI—probably more so because inflammation can lead to kidney infections. My daughter’s medical chart shows a history of prescribed antibiotics and so the doctor had to be mindful about prescribing stronger doses yet staying away from broad-spectrum medications.
Notwithstanding my daughter’s clinical approach, there are prevailing biases and shame associated with this predominantly woman’s affliction. And increasing occurrence of UTI in some woman should not invite judgement, but rather an inquiry into broader health concerns that may be systemic.
My daughter is learning that self-care for girls and women is very different from what she sees of me. I can shit, shower and shave in 10 minutes. It takes her that amount of time to brush out all her knots! Since my daughter lives with me, she knows that a guy who cannot empathize, should also not judge, either.
