Her mother told me in the autumn that she intended to take our daughter on a cruise over Christmas. It was a repeat vacation to the same destination only this time, there was grandma and the aunt’s family with two little cousins in tow. She was a bit unsure at first and then I said that as a teenager, she can be part of the teen club where no adults are allowed and the little cousins are too young to get in. It’s the perfect oasis on a ship. There’s food and restaurants throughout the ship and everyone can dine in separate restaurants or parts of the general dining lounge!

I asked my ex to produce the itinerary including flight number and embarkation details. Months went by and nothing was forthcoming other than refusal and vitriol. So, no passport was handed over. Finally, at the check in counter, the agent refused to board my daughter on the plane. There was a lot of commotion and since I wasn’t there, I got the blame. In the end, my ex told my daughter to ask me to pick her up and they all boarded the plane abandoning my 14 year-old.

Having travelled a lot with me, she is experienced for her age. After a brief chat on the phone, she knew how to clear customs and was waiting for me at the agreed upon pillar number at the arrival terrace. I pulled up and saw a young lady with stylish sunglasses, rolling carryon luggage and a Starbucks in hand. She got in the car and without missing a beat, she said, “It’s your fault dad, I can’t go because you didn’t give mom my passport.” I didn’t know Starbucks added chili pepper oil in their latte which turned your tongue saucy. “I actually didn’t want to go.” I know. “How do you know?” Look at your reaction, you seemed relieved.

I got to know her mental state even more as we departed the airport. I also confirmed that since I was leaving on my own vacation, I needed to go to the grocery store to stock the fridge before my own return to the airport later that day.

 

Amazingly we spent no time together, yet we’ve never felt closer. Best Christmas present I ever had!

 

Even though my daughter knew I was going away, it only just dawned on her that she’s being left alone. Her jaw dropped. I pushed her chin back in place and asked if she needed money for pizza and stuff. “Can I come, dad?” No, it’s an adult resort and it’s too late to get a last-minute ticket. I also can’t cancel mine.

“So you’re going to leave me at home? Alone? All by myself?” Yes, I trust you. I always have. And you’ve been home alone before. Even when I come home very late. Only this time, it’s over Christmas break and you’ll likely be sleeping in and binging on TV. She paused, thinking of all the possibilities. “Can I have a friend over?” Girlfriend? Yes. “How many?” One. “Can I go out?” Yes, you have a transit pass and can go to the mall or go see a movie. Make sure you are at home before it gets dark. “Can I order food?” If you are already out, yes. Otherwise, no. I don’t want you to open the door to strangers to receive delivery. And I’ll check in with you on WhatsApp every day. Deal? “Deal!”

During those four days, I slept for 12 hours each day. My trip was to unplug and recharge after a stressful year. The occasional swim in the ocean was refreshing. And it made me sleepy. The buffet was sustenance and that too made me sleepy. I drank and that definitely made me sleepy. I had a very relaxing and much needed vacation and I was comforted that while my daughter was a world away, she was also safe and comfortable at home. She too slept much as she was recovering from a vigorous first term in high school. In the end, none of her friends came over to the house and she went to the mall once for 4 hours with a friend and came home to noodle soup, TV and then bed.

We checked in with each other every day and sometimes a few times a day. They were more perfunctory check-ins rather than conversations. I came home after my trip and gave my daughter a big, long hug and we swapped stories of our four days. She really enjoyed the alone time she had by herself. She felt trusted and responsible. I enjoyed my free time as an adult and as a father, felt reassured that my daughter had grown significantly over the past four days.

Amazingly we spent no time together, yet we’ve never felt closer. Best Christmas present I ever had!