My daughter has on occasion accompanied me to work because of a PD-day or no last minute sitter and seen me talk to coworkers, speak into the conference line or even make in-person presentations to a group of people. She has no idea what I’m talking about, but she sits there with her iPad and catches me interacting with an audience. In my line of work, I used to do this often and have travelled abroad to speak.
But public speaking didn’t come naturally. I remember when one of my first engagements, I was so nervous, that my supervisor had to step in and take over. I was both relieved, embarrassed, disappointed and furious at myself. But at least, I didn’t feel like throwing up anymore. Because we were doing so many presentations, my employer decided that everyone in our group should take public speaking and media training classes. I recall one of the most gut-wrenching, difficult experience was when the coach videotaped each of us as we made a mock presentation for two minutes. And then he dissected the video, frame by frame, calling out posture, placements of hands, pacing and of course, he counted the number of times we used empty words like ‘um, ah, oh’ to fill up airtime.
Fast forward a whole career, speaking to a thousand people in a room for me made no difference than speaking to one. And with the pervasive use of video conferencing post COVID, my camera is always on as I speak to a screen of talking heads. I am seemingly unaware of the lit green camera light, but always aware of the hot mic. And when my daughter told me the night before she had to make a presentation in class, I was able to offer her three pieces of advice that was told to me.
As ironic as it sounds, the only way to engage the whole group is by not looking at any of them.
Know your audience. I asked my daughter if she was presenting to her peers or teacher or faculty or people outside the school. She said it was for her class. Well, then you already know much about them, I explained. Just talk to them as you would and don’t use fancy vocabulary. Be yourself as they already know who you are and if you behave differently like you were talking ‘down’ to them, then it would appear disingenuous.
Know your material. “What material are you presenting,” I asked? She explained that each student in the class had a different topic and each must present. Well, I explained that since everyone is presenting their own research, you will be the most knowledgeable about yours. No one will have the same understanding (save for the teacher) but the teacher won’t be interrogating you. If you need to refer to your materials, read excerpts. Tell them what you learn and speak about it in the way you have laid it out in your written report. A presentation is a verbal summary of your report with stories that engages.
Read the room. Finally, I said that being on stage or in front of the class creates a different dynamic that separates you from them. This separation creates an audience. As ironic as it sounds, the only way to engage the whole group is by not looking at any of them. She was confused. “Find a spot at the back of the room, perhaps a clock, and use that as your focal point. Speak to the clock. Everyone will think you are looking and engaging someone else. Later when you get more comfortable, you can look at the eyes of a person closest to you. Don’t focus on this person too long. Then move to someone else. Look back at the clock. Then look at another person. Assess the collective level of engagement and tweak your content and delivery for detail and pace. But for now, stare out into space as you talk.”
The next day, I asked my daughter how it went. She said the tip about looking at the back wall really helped. After a while, it felt like no one was in the room. Like everybody disappeared. “That’s both a mental and visual illusion and I’m glad it worked.” Do you pretend that you are presenting to no one, dad? “Kinda. I’m used to mumbling to myself all day long anyway. Except when I have an audience, then some of them listen.” We both cracked up laughing.
