Why does my daughter cut the collars of her baggy t-shirts so she can wear them draped with one exposed shoulder? Why does my daughter tuck her shirt into her bra so she shows not just belly button but the whole midriff? Why does my daughter like to wear pushups and strapless that accentuates the needlessly unaccentuables? My attempts to cover up her skin is often met with resistance, restorative gestures followed by a sneer at me for being a prude! What happened?
Well in three small words: ‘she growed up!’ Her concepts of appealing female forms and ideas of healthy styles have crash ashore and washed away all childish forms of identify and practicality. The onesies gave way to pull-ups which gave way to tights to leggings to now once again popular grandma pants with flaring bottoms and who knows what comes next. “All the girls dress this way, dad,” she explained to me patiently.
Few teenage habits will follow through into adulthood.
Admittedly, during my daughter’s metamorphosis from tween to teen, I witnessed the onslaught of puberty hormones which have caused unease, discomfort and awkwardness. It pretty much destroyed her self-image and any self-confidence she had about the perception of self. But in a very short time, she accepted and managed her bodily changes. She began to see her transformations in form, proportionality and strength. As all her peers are going through the same thing, their common development builds communal support and mental strength. Quite frankly, girls at this age don’t feel they need to hide.
Bare skin is simply a display of confidence, I might say. And confidence in their own self-image expressed this way is not necessarily a bad thing. Parents should know that ripped jeans and torn shirts are not gateway wardrobe into the world of sleazy fashion comprised of short skirts and over the knee boots. In fact, I’ve seen worst sexist, highly questionable miniskirts worn by Catholic schoolgirls!
While I have these usual and expected tug-of-wars with my daughter, I am comforted with the fact that she continues to push the boundaries of natural self-expression. I’ve always said that compliant children don’t push boundaries. But, her gestures of creativity are not over-the-top outrageous, either. I know that what she does now can simply be a phase. Few teenage habits will follow through into adulthood. And I’m willing to bet that few teenage clothing will survive the year, much less its style into adulthood—except perhaps the bell bottoms.
