Compared to her girlfriends, my daughter’s period tends to be a passing nuisance and after a few days, all symptoms subside. She doesn’t get debilitating cramps or headaches. But increasingly, her nuisance has become less tolerable. Not to the point where she misses school, but enough that she just wants to stay in bed and not do very much. This is problematic for a competitive swimmer.

To combat this, we went to the store and picked up an over-the-counter box of ibuprofen. It worked. For a month. Maybe two. But after that, the intensity of the symptoms returned. Again, not debilitating, but a nagging nuisance. My daughter asked if she could get stronger medication. I hesitated as we are venturing into an area where medical advice might be best sought.

At the same time, we were visiting with an old university friend and his family. My daughter has much respect for the wife of my friend. They often go for long walks together and bond in a big sister kind of way. After one of these walks, I was pulled aside and was told that my daughter is seeking birth control pills as the next step to manage not only the cycles but the intensity. I listened and recounted to her my own conversation with my daughter on the matter. I feared that the pill was a gateway pharmaceutical to promiscuity. She assured me that that wasn’t on my daughter’s mind.

 

I feared that the pill was a gateway pharmaceutical to promiscuity.

 

Later, when we were on our way back home, my daughter and I had a conversation. I said that I will make an appointment with a new doctor for her. We joked that it’s high time she got an adult doctor as she’s aged out of her pediatrician! She laughed and said that she was already taller than her baby doctor and she knew this day would come.

And then with a serious tone, I turned to my daughter and said that while I want her to have the best medical attention to ease her growing pains, I was concerned about this next step and what it might mean. She knew where I was going with this. “Dad, it’s just a medication to manage the pain.” Yes, but once you start, you must continue to take it daily. You can’t ‘forget’ to take it. And you must be responsible. “I know that dad. And I’ll still take precautions and it changes nothing.” I stared at her for a long time. Again, it’s another moment where she’s grown—right before my eyes. Why do I feel so melancholy?

On that following Monday, I asked for a referral from my own family doctor’s clinic and made an appointment for my daughter to see her own female doctor. That conversation will be theirs to have.