Once upon a time, it was just daddy and daughter. I taught her everything and took her everywhere. I blinked and then she became a teenager.  She developed a life separate from me. I sighed. And then high school happened. Now she’s dating a boy. I know it’s not about me but why do I feel I’m playing second-chair to my daughter’s unfolding life.

My daughter and her boyfriend are solid. I’m so happy that she’s found an equal whom she connects with. I’m thankful that he’s protective in that when my daughter is not with me, I have a proxy whose responsibility also aligns with mine. But when she’s back home, even though she’s with me physically, she’s sometimes elsewhere and connected to her social network.

 

Her burgeoning independence has bloomed as quickly as a desert flower.

 

Setting aside all the dinner times, Sunday TV by the fire and even multi-week road trips we make, our time together is diminishing. This is natural. I should expect it. And I should even welcome it. It’s a healthy sign that my daughter has a life; I can go back to mine. But after more than a decade and half of being her primary caregiver, my own social network has more than crumbled. Her awakening is happening quicker and quicker and her social life stands in stark contrast to mine. I’m not sure I’m ready!

But as much as I lament the old days of pre-arranged playdates and the (obligatory) birthday parties, her calendar is now filled with self-arranged activities rather than planned family events. I couldn’t be happier. I welcome it. I find great comfort that my daughter’s social life is more packed than mine. Even though my heart feels a bit heavy, it is filled with an equal amount of joy. Her burgeoning independence has bloomed as quickly as a desert flower.

Slow down, my young one. I need to catch up just a bit before you disappear beyond the horizon.