Smoking is something I used to do. I must admit, I enjoyed it. I like handling a cigarette. I like the smell of fresh tobacco. I like lighting it and taking a drag. And I like the rush of the nicotine that went straight to my head especially in the morning. But I didn’t like the unpleasant smell that lingers, or the foul breath that it leaves me. And of course, I hated the fact that it decimated my health. I started to smoke when I was a teenager and after many, many attempts with gadgets, gimmicks, patches and cold turkey to quit, it was a pill that worked. At 30 years of age, I quit and never looked back. In fact, I’ve since developed an asthmatic reaction to tobacco smoke so it was definitely a deterrent not to return to the old habit.
However, as I age, I have discovered the pleasures of Cuban cigars. And I always keep a box of it around the house. And one day, my daughter asked if she can try it. I took a long look at her and said, “Sure.” We went to the mini humidor I had and retrieved a whole one for her. I showed her how to assess its firmness and moisture and how to cut off the end. I showed her to lick the length of the cigar to retard the burning and to keep the wrapping intact. I don’t think that does anything, but that’s my approach. And I always take a cold drag to draw the fragrance onto the taste buds before lighting it. I showed her how I lit my cigar with matches rather than petro-based lighter to keep the authenticity of the taste. I held the flame to the cigar and moved it about so it doesn’t canoe; but good quality cigars are rolled evenly and rarely burns on one side. I then took a deep drag, held it in my mouth and blew it out. Then I said, “Do not inhale the smoke into your lungs!”
Throughout the nearly one hour it took to finish the cigar, we had a very, very good conversation. I told her about my decade long struggle to quit cigarettes. I told her that my sister asked me to deter his son who was 11 at the time from smoking. I did it by asking my nephew to copy exactly what I was doing including taking a deep drag and holding it in my lung before blowing a ring. The instant he took that drag; he coughed up half his lung. It was the most painful experience he had ever had. He never picked up a cigarette again.
We both realize that you don’t need to experience something to know about it.
Smoking cigars has allowed me to enjoy the aroma without leaving me winded and my lungs defiled. My daughter also felt comfortable sharing with me her one and only experience with vaping. A friend of hers (many actually) vape and she was offered a drag. She did and it instantly caused spasm in her lung. She asked her friend how she can stand that burn. They got used to it. My daughter would never do it again as she knows that it will also destroy her swimming career.
We talked about how addictive vapes and pens are compared to cigarettes as they have the ability to deliver higher doses of nicotine. Even though we have had discussions on marijuana, I still asked if her friends had ever offered a toke. She confirmed she had. I wasn’t surprised nor was I upset at these types of experimentation at high school. “It didn’t do anything for me.” The effects are different on different people and it also depends on the weed itself. “Dad, have you done other drugs?” No, I have seen friends who have suffered the effects of acid and coke. It’s not pretty. They lose sense of themselves and all their friends disappear. I used to volunteer at the emergency ward of a hospital and I have seen real addicts come in. Some are in very rough shape, physically with visible wounds. I once saw a team of 7 people attending to someone brought in by ambulance with one straddling the torso administering chest compressions on a gurney. The guy didn’t make it. Eventually, the family showed up and the scene was chaotic and devastating…it was very sad to those left behind.
I didn’t want to turn my one-hour, heart-to-heart with my daughter into a lecture but suffice it to say that we both realize that you don’t need to experience something to know about it. I sipped my whiskey after a puff of smoke and gazed at my daughter through the haze. She looked contently through her own attempts at a smoke ring. It was a good night.
