When I went to school, there was no internet. In fact, microfiche was only being retired from general use. I did my research at the library like everyone else and looked up books using little card files and prayed that the book wasn’t checked out or mis-shelved. And I envied friends who had an up-to-date set of encyclopedias at home. But I managed and did well enough to get into a good university. In my final year of my undergraduate, I applied and got my school issued internet email address. And it wasn’t something fun like [email protected]–it was my student number at name of school followed by .edu!!!
My daughter learned to swipe an iPad even before she could count to ten. She was literally growing up with a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in her back pocket as every detail of everything can be called up in real-time video by voice command. With this type of on-demand, just-in-time, why-bother-to-memorize-anything society, she has no excuse for being ignorant or illiterate. But of course, we have to be more than just walking almanacs.
My daughter has also grown up in the alternative school systems where they teach not only the required basics, but above and beyond topics using different modalities to try to reach each child’s learning affinities. Back when I went to school, getting an A was a simple matter of regurgitating facts and only in some courses at higher levels, was my opinion or interpretation sought. Nowadays, even if students demonstrate unique critical thinking and fully explain a position, they might just scrape by with a ‘B’. Academic expectations in secondary schools have gotten much more…well academic. And only kids getting above 95% have a fair shake at the limited first year seats in top universities.
So, do I put pressure on my daughter to do well academically? How can I not when her peers are moving above the speed limit?
My daughter’s friends are no slouch either. Although most of them appear clueless, they are incredibly smart. Their short attentions spans hide their insane ability to multitask in real-time as they simultaneously navigate phone, computer, a conversation, headphones with streaming music and TV in the background. On the opposite end, my daughter also has peers who languish below 50%. But they reside there by choice—not ability.
Academics aside, students are pushed by their schools to tally their volunteer hours over the course of a year. They are told that prospective admission officials are looking for well-rounded individuals with meaningful hobbies (like music and sports) and speak a second or even a third foreign language.
So, do I put pressure on my daughter to do well academically? How can I not when her peers are moving above the speed limit? So, yes, but it’s only comparable to the pressure and expectations she’s getting from the school system and her peers, not just academically, but emotionally and socially. I often find my daughter up late in her room, doing homework and conferring with her friends on complicated problems as they simultaneously work on the same document together. Part of that is procrastination, but mostly there’s just a lot of material to work through. I have on more than one occasion discussed with her to work better, not just harder. Sometimes, doing what’s best is to do nothing at all and get a good night’s sleep and then look at things with fresh eyes.
I’m immensely happy that my daughter is growing up and being nurtured in an environment of positive learning and reward. I’m also happy that she bores easily; her curiosity will be her engine. If she chooses hard work, it’s not for hard work’s sake, but for what it brings. As much as I have pushed in the past, now she’s doing it herself.
